Reflecting on where 99% of my happiness (apparently) comes from

This hit my inbox from Mark Manson this morning:

… and I thought I’d give it a short to answer them here. Because why not?

1. What am I working on and why?

• My design studio: I do this because it’s my creative outlet, it’s my muse, it’s something I don’t get tired of doing. It gets me into flow almost immediately, I love the people I get to meet, I love the things I create. I love creating. Creating is the thing I want to do for the rest of my life.

• My book of chihuahua illustrations: Humour bleeds into everything I do. I believe we all need to protect humour like something sacred, otherwise life gets very serious very quickly. It’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a “religion.” I love that I get to giggle to myself. It’s the rest I find between the daily admin and the chores. It’s where I get to just draw, and just be happy.

• My branding and AI community: I’ve found immense potential in AI, and I want everyone to see that. It can be a little scary to cross the threshold from “noob” to “amateur”, but once you do it opens up your entire world. Nay: It' implodes and reshapes you world. AI isn’t going anywhere, and branding is one space where I feel like I can really contribute valuably to the integration of AI.

2. Who am I spending time with and why?

• My parents: They’re the only immediate family I have within 5000km. And I know that we’re working against time. I spent the last 3 years feeling very far from them for a number of reasons (thanks COVID…), and I want to share more of their life and mine with each other. They remind me that most of the noise in my head is just that.

• My closest friends and intimate relationships: I let go of the need I felt to maintain all relationships with people a while ago, and now I really only focus on my core group. The people I could actually call in a pickle, and who I’d a) want around when I need help, and b) that would show up when I need help. They say home is wherever your tribe is, and I feel like I’m building a home and nurturing a tribe that transcends and crosses borders and time. These are people that challenge me to think broader and do better; people who explore the curiosities of life with me; people who want to touch the sky and dive to the depths of the Mariana trench. These are the people I’m going to grow old with, and I want to create the foundations now that let us go months without talking and still meet up like it was yesterday.

• Myself: I always think back to my Vipassana retreat, where I truly met myself for the first time. Nine hours a day of silence does that. And every time I go to gym, I spend that time with myself as well. If no-one else, I am the only company I’ll have consistently, forever, until the very last moment I’m on earth. I don’t spend enough time with this person, here. He deserves more company. And in a world of social media and fast progress, it’s so easy to distract myself from myself.

• Strangers: There’s so much out there I can learn, and so many people I can learn from. We all have blindspots, and we can only have those shown to us by other people. I always leave a conversation with a new person with a new idea, perspective, appreciation, insight, or just feeling. And I’m pretty addicted to that experience at the moment.

3. How well am I treating my body and why?

• I train: I don’t always do a triathlon, but I train like I am. It’s my therapy, and makes me feel alive. Feeling my heart rate go up, my skin get goosebumps when I touch cold water, my sweat… It all helps me appreciate what my body is doing to keep me alive. And it makes me want to look after better all the time.

• I probably drink more than I should: I’m nowhere near an alcoholic, but I probably drink more than is good for me. I drink because it’s fun, and because it’s a social default; but I drink because it makes me feel like I’m an independent adult who can do that. I’m going to work on this :)

• I do cold water immersion: Yes, it sucks sometimes. But only for 20 seconds. And then it’s bliss. I like feeling my breath become hard to control, and then breathing through that and slipping into this meditative state. It reminds me of what my body and mind are capable of, and that discomfort can be overcome with a little patience, and a little calm.

• I eat what I feel like: I don’t mean binge; I just mean I don’t count change when it comes to making food for myself. I get the best cheese, I buy the nicest bread, I spoil myself with great ingredients… After-all, this machine of mine is letting me do everything I’ve listed so far — why wouldn’t I want to give it the best of the best?

How would you answer these three questions?

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